Behavior Worksheets
This site is amazing, helps teach children important things in a way that is comprehensible as well as fun. I have found it effective with my child and I would recommend checking it out for printable charts and activities.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
STDs and children
Those two things should not be heard together, am I right? In a recent article on the Advocates for Youth website (www.advocatesforyouth.org), I found this gem (the entire article must be read to get the full effect of the message but it is truly outstanding):
Quote
Tuesday August 10, 2010
Should We Tell Our Kids that STDs are Normal?
by Martha Kempner
In a blog on Psychology Today’s website, Kathryn Stamoulis, a psychologist who specializes in adolescent sexuality and teens’ internet behaviors, suggests that it’s time we take the stigma out of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and start talking about them as a normal risk of a normal behavior. Her argument is quite logical: STDs are extremely prevalent in our society among both teens and adults, treating them like the ultimate social taboo does nothing to prevent teens from contracting them (years of abstinence-only-until-marriage programs and fear-based education have not reduced teen sex or the transmission of STDs), and what it may actually do is prevent teens from taking important steps to protect and treat themselves (like seeking out regular STD screening).
She suggests that STDs are a normal risk of sexual contact similar to how contracting a cold or a flu is a natural risk of being in close contact with others during the winter. “Just imagine what life would look like if people viewed STDs as a normal part of fooling around,” she writes. “Without fear of tarnishing his reputation, a teenage boy could tell his partner ‘you may not want to get too close to me this week; I'm clearing up a case of Chlamydia.’ Or a teen girl may view getting tested twice a year as routine as she does a teeth cleaning.”
She is absolutely right that stigma prevents many people from seeking the protective behaviors they need—be it buying condoms before having sex or getting tested for STDs afterwards. We do have to change our tone when talking about STDs to get rid of the shame and blame. STDs are a health issue; not a sign of poor morals or bad behavior.
But normal, is that taking it too far?
As a sexuality educator, I have spent a lot of time criticizing abstinence-only-until-marriage programs for their use of fear and shame especially when it comes to STDs. A common tactic of these programs is to show young people slides of STDs in their extremely advanced stages; cervixes that are dripping with pus or penises covered with cauliflower-sized warts. I do not think these are appropriate teaching tools for a number of reasons. First, they’re not particularly educational—these pictures represent late stages of STDs that in all honesty few people ever reach. If we do want to show young people pictures of STDs, at the very least we should be showing them those in the earliest stages in order to help them understand when to seek testing and treatment.
Second, the narration accompanying these slides often says things like “As a result of this Chlamydia infection, this young woman, even though she only had sex with one person, will never be able to have children.” Not only do such statements gloss over important information—like the fact that Chlamydia is easily cured with antibiotics if caught early and that even if caught later infertility can be averted—they also seem to suggest that the owner of the cervix in the picture is to blame for her predicament and, worse, is now damaged goods. Such message of fear and shame are always inappropriate.
Lastly, I think it is worth noting that those who support showing pictures of diseased genitals are the very same forces who try to censor any curriculum or book that shows pictures of naked people or healthy genitalia on the grounds that they are pornographic and not age-appropriate. This just further underscores the messages that sex, and even our bodies, are sources of shame.
As a mother who wants to protect her children from anything that causes pain or discomfort, though, I have to admit that calling STDs simply a normal part of fooling around makes me a little anxious. It is true that gonorrhea and Chlamydia can be treated easily, but other STDs, like Herpes, can cause recurring pain. And, we can’t forget about HIV which causes numerous medical issue and ultimately still leads to death.
I vividly remember an article I read when I was 14 about a 25-year-old woman who had a severe case of genital Herpes. She explained that urinating during an outbreak was so uncomfortable that she would not do it at work and would instead wait until the end of the day when she could do it as part of a shower or a bath to limit the pain. I don’t know whether the article was designed to scare me or simply to inform me but it sounded horrible enough that I vowed I would not get Herpes. To this day, I believe that some of my vigilance in protecting myself when I became sexually active came from that dread.
This is always one of the challenges of parenthood. How do we raise kids who have an awareness of and a respect for the dangers in the world without scaring them too much? Thus the balancing act. My daughter (who is 4) has to hold my hand when we’re walking in a parking lot because other drivers might not see her by herself and could “smush” her. She has to wear her seatbelt whenever we drive because it’s safer. And, she shouldn’t talk to strangers. I haven’t told her what would happen to her if she really did get smushed by a car, that people die in car accidents, or that some people are actually out to harm little kids. Some of these messages will come as she gets older and can understand more but I will try not to dwell on danger.
As she gets older, I plan to give similarly balanced messages about sex. Sex itself is a normal and healthy part of life. STDs are a potentially serious health issue. STDs can be avoided even if you are sexually active. It is important to do everything you can to avoid them. If you think you are at risk for an STD, it’s important to get tested and treated as soon as possible. And (this is the uniquely mom message), I will not be angry or think less of you if you get an STD, I will just do my best to help you.
Maybe this is what calling them normal would look like.
End Quote
Quote
Tuesday August 10, 2010
Should We Tell Our Kids that STDs are Normal?
by Martha Kempner
In a blog on Psychology Today’s website, Kathryn Stamoulis, a psychologist who specializes in adolescent sexuality and teens’ internet behaviors, suggests that it’s time we take the stigma out of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and start talking about them as a normal risk of a normal behavior. Her argument is quite logical: STDs are extremely prevalent in our society among both teens and adults, treating them like the ultimate social taboo does nothing to prevent teens from contracting them (years of abstinence-only-until-marriage programs and fear-based education have not reduced teen sex or the transmission of STDs), and what it may actually do is prevent teens from taking important steps to protect and treat themselves (like seeking out regular STD screening).
She suggests that STDs are a normal risk of sexual contact similar to how contracting a cold or a flu is a natural risk of being in close contact with others during the winter. “Just imagine what life would look like if people viewed STDs as a normal part of fooling around,” she writes. “Without fear of tarnishing his reputation, a teenage boy could tell his partner ‘you may not want to get too close to me this week; I'm clearing up a case of Chlamydia.’ Or a teen girl may view getting tested twice a year as routine as she does a teeth cleaning.”
She is absolutely right that stigma prevents many people from seeking the protective behaviors they need—be it buying condoms before having sex or getting tested for STDs afterwards. We do have to change our tone when talking about STDs to get rid of the shame and blame. STDs are a health issue; not a sign of poor morals or bad behavior.
But normal, is that taking it too far?
As a sexuality educator, I have spent a lot of time criticizing abstinence-only-until-marriage programs for their use of fear and shame especially when it comes to STDs. A common tactic of these programs is to show young people slides of STDs in their extremely advanced stages; cervixes that are dripping with pus or penises covered with cauliflower-sized warts. I do not think these are appropriate teaching tools for a number of reasons. First, they’re not particularly educational—these pictures represent late stages of STDs that in all honesty few people ever reach. If we do want to show young people pictures of STDs, at the very least we should be showing them those in the earliest stages in order to help them understand when to seek testing and treatment.
Second, the narration accompanying these slides often says things like “As a result of this Chlamydia infection, this young woman, even though she only had sex with one person, will never be able to have children.” Not only do such statements gloss over important information—like the fact that Chlamydia is easily cured with antibiotics if caught early and that even if caught later infertility can be averted—they also seem to suggest that the owner of the cervix in the picture is to blame for her predicament and, worse, is now damaged goods. Such message of fear and shame are always inappropriate.
Lastly, I think it is worth noting that those who support showing pictures of diseased genitals are the very same forces who try to censor any curriculum or book that shows pictures of naked people or healthy genitalia on the grounds that they are pornographic and not age-appropriate. This just further underscores the messages that sex, and even our bodies, are sources of shame.
As a mother who wants to protect her children from anything that causes pain or discomfort, though, I have to admit that calling STDs simply a normal part of fooling around makes me a little anxious. It is true that gonorrhea and Chlamydia can be treated easily, but other STDs, like Herpes, can cause recurring pain. And, we can’t forget about HIV which causes numerous medical issue and ultimately still leads to death.
I vividly remember an article I read when I was 14 about a 25-year-old woman who had a severe case of genital Herpes. She explained that urinating during an outbreak was so uncomfortable that she would not do it at work and would instead wait until the end of the day when she could do it as part of a shower or a bath to limit the pain. I don’t know whether the article was designed to scare me or simply to inform me but it sounded horrible enough that I vowed I would not get Herpes. To this day, I believe that some of my vigilance in protecting myself when I became sexually active came from that dread.
This is always one of the challenges of parenthood. How do we raise kids who have an awareness of and a respect for the dangers in the world without scaring them too much? Thus the balancing act. My daughter (who is 4) has to hold my hand when we’re walking in a parking lot because other drivers might not see her by herself and could “smush” her. She has to wear her seatbelt whenever we drive because it’s safer. And, she shouldn’t talk to strangers. I haven’t told her what would happen to her if she really did get smushed by a car, that people die in car accidents, or that some people are actually out to harm little kids. Some of these messages will come as she gets older and can understand more but I will try not to dwell on danger.
As she gets older, I plan to give similarly balanced messages about sex. Sex itself is a normal and healthy part of life. STDs are a potentially serious health issue. STDs can be avoided even if you are sexually active. It is important to do everything you can to avoid them. If you think you are at risk for an STD, it’s important to get tested and treated as soon as possible. And (this is the uniquely mom message), I will not be angry or think less of you if you get an STD, I will just do my best to help you.
Maybe this is what calling them normal would look like.
End Quote
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